Sometimes I feel such intense feeling about somebody which I am not supposed to feel. Sometimes I feel like breaking all rules which I am not supposed to break.
Have you ever experienced that feeling of having something but wanting something else which you never thought before?
Life always offers such situations which force us to make some really hard decisions and then she’s such a bitch, she is never satisfied with us.
She again twists situations which make us break our earlier decisions, rules, principals in such a bad way that she drives us mad about something which we never dreamt of. She makes us run behind something which really doesn’t matter and she enjoys watching us in dilemma.
I feel like I am just a toy who dances to her moves.
She creates roles for me, she creates characters with whom I am supposed to play.
But I know finally, I have created that bitch to blame her for my own wrong moves.
Just don’t know, sometimes I get into such situations where I know what I am doing is not correct ,but the more I stop myself ,the more I become rebellious.
Sometimes I run behind certain things which are really not worth it, yet there is always a moment of temptation which I can’t resist.
Sometimes the gap between reality and the dream world becomes so narrow, I can not figure out where I am and what I am doing.
At the signal, Chanda suddenly saw a man falling down in the middle of the road because of fits. Without any second thought Chanda rushed to him. With few other people, Chanda helped that man to regain his consciousness. This was not a usual sight as Chanda was an “IT” who had helped a "he".55er:
He was rushing towards emergency room with 65 year old diabetic patient on wheel chair. He was carefully listening to the doctor’s instructions about critical operation. Doctor asked “ what is your relation with patient” 60 year old man, retired CGM said “ He is my childhood friend ,I am taking care of him “
Entry in the city gave disgusting feeling with public bath, people throwing things on streets instead of in dustbins and excessive public smoking. Then the visit to Indian museum, Howrah Bridge, the Trams, St. John’s Church, Writers' Building and Victoria memorial we found the capital of British India, Calcutta.
Shalini : Hello.. Hiiii…yes you …Didn’t you recognize me, we were in same school for std 8th , 9th and 10th .I am the one whom you taught Maths .I am Shalini.. (Giving BIG smile with 32 out)
Manisha: (little confused, still trying to remember looking that at that women with big Magalsutra with around 2-2.5 year old kid) Hi...Ahh!!..Shalini…When …I mean How r u?
Shalini: You don’t keep in contact any of our batch mates or what... How come you don’t know that I got married 3 years back...? U know, We.....Means me and Husband were in US for a while and (with fake accent) wanted to settle in US ..but U know ..we have think about Om’s future also (looking @ kid)…Yea he is my son Om...Om Say Hi to Aunty..
Om: (thinking!!... Can’t my mom get bored repeating same tape to all) Hi..Aunnty…
Manisha : (Trying gasp all information at a time ) huhh!!…Hi Om... (Looking at Om’s mom) … So... (Trying frame question...but couldn’t as she got know almost everything)
Shalini : So tell me ..How r u? Hey between are u single? (Looking at Manisha, Could not find any sign of marriage)I mean, I am sorry .but you know you should be get married by this time (proudly looking @ Om) .Its ok. What can you do, it’s all Luck!
Manisha: (Trying understand if there is any question in her statements) Aaa!!…
Shalini:I have to leave now (looking at watch). My husband must waiting for me, in our car .Between we got a new car..i20. I told my husband that I don’t need one. You know, he was insisting. He doesn’t even want me work also (lots of blushing)... By the way, it was really nice to meet …Hope to see you again .Take care…
Manisha : ( More bytes of information ,still in process of digesting previous one) ..Hmm….Bye
Shanlini :All the best for your groom search. Do call me for you marriage (gave wicked smile)
Manisha: (Manisha wanted to tell that she is really happy in her life with her career after doing MBA from recognized university and working as financial manager of reputed company .Not really given thought about marriage…But could not say any of these...)
She was in bad mood. He had cancelled all plans for no apparent reason. Despite of being with friends she was lost in her own world. He had his plans. He went down on one knee holding the ring and asked the question. Her heart skipped a beat and tears rolled uncontrollably. She said "YES".
He: (playing with his mobile) Hey, it’s looking good!
She: Color is good but I am looking very fat. And this design is also not good.
He: (While typing a sms to his friend, asking for football score) Come on, you are not fat and this type of kurta u don’t have.
She: (irritated) You never observe me properly ,last week I wore a similar type of kurta.Please Raj, look at me and tell (with anger).
He: (bit worried about last statement made) Hey sweetheart, it’s looking good on you !!
She: But you know my friend Neha also has same type of Kurta. I don’t want to copy her. God knows what she thinks about me. I know she is jealous of me!! You know what she said about me to my best friend Richa?
He: (not interested in hearing the same story for the nth time) Forget about her. Dear, if u liked it, you buy it or we will see somewhere else.
She: (Gets irritated as he is not interested in her gossip) I know you are not interested in talking with me that is why u changed the topic .I know what are you doing from last 1 hr .You are messaging your stupid friends .Why did you come with me if you wanted to show me this uninterested face ? Let’s go out . I don’t want to spend time with you anymore (Walks out of the store)
(Salesmen gets little confused about the way she leaves)
He: (to the sales man) It’s ok .. I can handle this, don’t worry...That what I am doing from last 2 years. (Gives a sad smile)
He: (running behind her, trying to match her speed ) hey my sweety ,don’t leave me like that. You know how much I LOVE YOU. Let’s go to some good store where my Queen can have lot of choices.
She: (Gets expected response, smiling) Please Raj, don’t do this next time. You know how emotional I am!!
He: (big sigh) Yes my dear .I know. (Hopes that next time, he will not repeat the same mistake again)
She had many thoughts on her mind on the way back. Official deadline, Prasad’s 10th exam, Shivam’s office party on Sunday. She unlatched door and sat on couch closing eyes. She smelled something refreshing, Shivam was standing holding cup of coffee .He said “Relax, u r at home”. She looked at him with satisfactory smile.
What is a crush? Noooo!! I am not talking about some stupid chocolate name or I am not going beat somebody for something.
I am talking about ‘the nice feeling’. Now you will ask me, can crush be the feeling. Indeed it is.
Let me give you my own example. When I was kid... (I don’t know now-a-days which age group is called kids), to be very specific this is incident when I was in 2nd standard. (Please somebody calculate age for me!). I spent my childhood days in town which not very much advanced. In our class we used have 2 separate sections for girls and boys divided with empty line. (No!! it was never mixed, u can call it as gender discrimination or what so ever, trust me I had no say at time on this subject) .Teacher used to select boy representative who used control girls section and girl representative who used control boys section, in absence of teachers (here the word control means rep used write names on black board of people who used to make noise and teacher used to decide punishment for them).
My class teacher selected me as girl representative to take care of boy section for that day. Please don’t create good image of mine like I was studious or quiet or similar adjectives which a good kid gets! I was one of the noisy creatures all the time, I guess to reduce noise level of the class my teacher made me girl’s rep for that class...Good trick I must say! That was Mrs. Mungikar madam’s class. She used teach us math and giving responsibility on able shoulders (??) she left for some office work.
Now it was my turn to hush the boys which I thought should be quiet possible task. The boy’s section was quiet surprisingly, but in between I heard some mumbling noise and little suppressed laughing from one of the corner. Without much delay I wanted to find the name of the noisy kid and write it down on blackboard as per instruction. I found out that he was non other than our class teacher’s son Mayur Mungikar. Being class teacher’s son he always used to bully other kids and god knows why kids used to listen to him. I was rebellious kid from childhood and ignoring him as class teachers’ son… I wrote his name on blackboard without any hesitation. (I tried my level best to make writing understandable, which was 50% successful J…(till to date I am trying for making up for remaining 50 %). I turned my head with proud smile to my girls group for appreciation, who were pretty surprised at my act.
I suddenly heard somebody coming behind me. As I turned to see what is happening, there I saw that Mayur was wiping his name from blackboard. I was shocked looking at him. Like an idiot!! He gave me that carelessly rude look. As if he is above the law. I was RED HOT with anger and walked out at that very movement and went teacher’s office.
Mrs Mungikar madam was busy in doing some work. I didn’t care to think whether I may be disturbing her and told her what happened. But sadly, she didn’t react the way I expected. She listened to me patiently and asked me to go to classroom. I came back with a very red face. Whole classroom started staring at me!! Suddenly I understood. Running in middle of the class in anger wasn’t good idea. For 10 min nothing happened other than Mayur laughing at me with his friends. But I noticed one of guy from his group wasn’t laughing .Instead he was giving condolence looks. But I just ignored him thinking all boys are the same. I started cursing myself for being a fool in front of whole class.
Finally my class teacher entered the class and this distracted the class attention from me to studies again (what a relief!!). To my surprise Madam called out Mayur’s name and asked him to go out and kneel down. There came the smile on my face. I got my justice. It was my time to give him his rude looks back J. I started thinking about those freedom fighters how they must have felt and decided to do big things for justice like history’s hero after growing up J ….Don’t worry I only software engineer..
Rewind once again, important part skipped from mind. There was this guy who gave me looks of pity, where was he?? I started searching for him during the recess time. There I found him, standing with his lunch box and water bottle. He was also looking at me with a nice smile. I smiled back at him. I felt really nice. And BINGO... This is the feeling I was trying to explain when I started my write up. That was my first ever crush (somewhere I thank Mayur for that, because of which I noticed this guy). Other than his name which is UDAY I do not remember anything about him. Come on!! I was in 2nd standard, too young to think anything else. Thank god!! I at least remember name.
Don’t tell me...you never got such type of nice feeling which is nothing but crush in my language is. Sometime you just feel like turning back whiles you are walking, and looking again at somebody who just passed by you way… (This does not mean you have to follow that somebody, which is bad!!). Sometime you like somebody for no reason...It is just a feeling which survives just for few minutes or hours or days. (I am really sorry if it surviving more than that …its time to revisit the feeling: P ...Its not crush anymore my dear friend and where my expertise ends. I can’t help beyond that).
My theory about crushes goes like this… According to me a crush is like soap bubbles…remember a person sitting in the middle of any fair with bunch of plastic boxes filled with soap water and with use of a wire loop, makes bubbles to attract your attention. Whenever passing by that you must have felt like touching at least of one them or just standing there and observing constantly changing rainbow color effect which gives very nice and cheerful feeling! Crushes are like that. It just a feeling which comes in mind like colorful soap bubble and gives you joyfulness for a movement.
You feel like singing song for yourself, while walking feel like skipping a step. Life feels wonderful. The beauty of crush is that crushes should be unpredictable. That where its importance lies. It’s just living in that movement.
Don’t mind …may I ask you people…so how many of you had crushes and how many???..
Signal turned red. Car windows were closed. Still he was trying to connect to people inside car. He was just 4 year old. It was part of his job which he learnt from his elders. He was trying to convince his hunger for food and clothing by making all possible gestures. But trying to collect only money as per instruction. Signal turned green. It was his break time. He started playing with his 1 year old sister who was waiting for him on footpath. They looked very happy with each other as signal was never red. Some question in my mind remained unanswered .Will he ever feel hunger for education? Will he ever feel a hunger for LIFE better than one on the footpath?
I saw a movie yesterday…I am usually an emotionless fool, I know god help me!!…In advance I am saying sorry to all the Pattinson fans for next few statements I am gonna make about this movie… Please take it with a pinch of salt!
I forgot what is the name of the movie..oh! yeah! Remember Me….I asked myself that question after I finished watching the movie..!!! "why should I remember you??"
Some how I could not find a relation between the title and the movie…I am trying to understand whether lead actor Robert Pattinson who is playing Tyler, is asking us to remember him …or is it the Director (???)…No doubt Pattinson looks very hottie… Most of time I felt Tyler is trying to say something but the director must have stopped him!!(?) …For the 1st half of the movie , other than looking @ Robert Pattinson on full screen I did not find anything else interesting neither the story nor the acting (Pierce Brosnan with his heavy english accent!!)
…. Everything was pretty much average ...…
In the 2nd half, to make it even more touching and emotional and touching and emotional..(oops!! I repeated words…my blogger friends I am out of words. Help me please!!), our very capable director has added the World Trade Center incident …trust me it’s very touching….so what if it is the director's easy catch to make people emotional…and what if it is repeated in every recent movie...I have seen my friends crying in buckets ….!!!....After seeing them I felt very guilty for not understanding any emotions as my friends did but laughing instead!!!…. My dear friends please forgive me for what all said…I am just a common person who really has no emotions for the movie what so ever…..and really poor in grasping real (hidden) meaning within the name of the movie… if you want to watch emotional stuff I encourage you watch ‘Uttaran’ on colors. At least there all the emotions are out there in the open…
So I request you all, Don’t forget, please 'remember me'!!!!…. : P: P: P: P ...... As this is my first effort in the blogging space, I expect some consideration from my readers!!! :D......
